Sprinting Toward God, with a Limp

Sprinting Toward God, with a Limp

In Genesis 32 and 33 we have an amazing series of events that provide a transformative text, critically valuable for a daily journey with Jesus.

We have just read of Jacob’s flight from Laban as God instructs him to return to the land of his father, the land of promise.  He now engages in a life and death wrestling match with God. On the horizon the looming consequences of the past are speeding across the plain to meet him.

Jacob is now between the proverbial rock and a hard place.  Behind him, a rich and powerful uncle who has grown increasingly adversarial. In front of him is the brother, who is also wealthy and powerful, whom he betrayed.  His brother, by the way, is coming to meet him with 400 men.

Jacob has for his entire life been a schemer.  He is the one that acts out of self-interest.  Ironically, he clings to God as if his life depends on it. Yet he also carries the weight of the “assistance” he provides to help wrestle God’s plan into place.  This additional baggage has created so much strife in his life.  When he left, God promised that he would not leave Jacob as he journeyed from Bethel.  God reiterates that promise as he is told to return home.  From the time of his collusive deception with his mother to deceive Isaac, Jacob has been reminded 3 times of God’s continuing unwavering promise to remain by his side.  Over the last 20 years that promise has enriched Jacob and his family.

Finally, Jacob reaches a precipice.  The bridges behind him have been burned, going back is not possible.  In front of him the brother he cheated, sprinting across the plain with a force that could easily end Jacob.  God said move forward, but it seems impossible.  Despite God’s faithful promises, promises that have been in ongoing fulfillment for 20 years, Jacob still resorts to constructing a safety net, “in case this does not work out.”

I have often been challenged in my life by the thought of an all-powerful God that has promised and delivered on everything, and my own blind impatient maneuvering to bring to fruition those very promises.  On one hand, if God wants something to happen, it will happen.  On the other, if I were to do just this one thing I could help the creator out.  All of the sudden, I find myself stuck between Laban and Esau.  The past, a reminder of my failed and empty attempts to “fulfill” what God has already promised.  The future, a foreboding harbinger of an unrequited hostility and a God urging me forward.

In a last-ditch effort to see past the light that God has revealed, Jacob tries to peer into the darkness past the light.  He imagines the worst and makes preparation to do as he has always done… to run.  For 20 years Jacob has been running.  He ran from Esau, he ran from Laban.  And now he is preparing to do so again.

In calling Jacob out for his “obvious” lack of faith, I am confronted with the mirror that equally convicts me of the same.  I find myself appreciating the lesson I learned from Jacob, but at the same time ashamed of the ways I have failed to apply that lesson.

God finally answers Jacob’s deepest need.  In a wrestling match that God patiently endured, he touches Jacob’s hip as an answer to Jacob’s deepest longing.  God cures the self-serving runner with a limp.  Now he must face the future, for he can no longer run.

By all accounts the reunion with Esau was a peaceful, if not joyous, occasion. (At least for Esau).  Fortunately, God is not finished with Jacob; He continues to work.  It would seem, at least at this encounter, God would like to share the idea of forgiveness from an unexpected source, the one not chosen.

Unfortunately, at this point in his life, the concept of forgiveness seems to be an elusive thought that Jacob cannot completely embrace, especially when he is the one that needs it so much.  It takes the inherited treachery of his ten children, a 22-year transformative journey for both them and Joseph, and the naked, unashamed act of forgiveness as Joseph reminds his brothers that God works all things for good.  Even here it is Judah, Jesus’ ancient ancestor, that is the focal point of Joseph’s forgiveness.   It is not lost on me that Joseph, although one of the 12 sons of Jacob, is also an “outsider”, not being in the direct line that would eventually lead to God’s completed plan, Jesus.

All along the way, God has been urging his chosen by showing reflections of himself through outsiders.  In 1 Peter 2:9, Peter tells his audience that they (followers of Jesus) are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people for his own possession.

I realize that I am not part of the chosen direct line that leads to God’s remediation for all the failings of mankind.  However, as an adopted child I share in that legacy and benefit from those that paved the road before me.  It is my responsibility to reflect the light of the God that created me just as it was for Jacob, who took a long time to learn.  Just as it was for Esau and Joseph, who showed an unflinching forgiveness.  For each of these there was a moment of glorious reunion.  This is what I think it might be like when I see my savior face to face.

I pray that in my life I can learn the lesson of forgiveness and active participation in God’s eternal plan without inserting my own “assistance” to address my ravenous impatience.   I pray that God will continue to be patient with me as I wrestle with him.

Lord, please touch my hip so that I can no longer run and all that remains is my forward limp and my trust in you.

-  Steve Turquette

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Worry is a conversation you have with yourself
about things you can’t change.

Prayer is a conversation you have with God
about things He can change.

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